1 00:00:50,216 --> 00:00:51,945 (Engine splutters and dies) 2 00:00:51,985 --> 00:00:54,180 (Lovejoy) Aargh! 3 00:00:54,220 --> 00:00:56,279 (Engine splutters and dies) 4 00:00:56,322 --> 00:01:00,782 But, if you haven't seen her for months, how can you be so sure she's not going to be there? 5 00:01:00,827 --> 00:01:04,319 One of the things you learn if you've been married to a woman for 11 years 6 00:01:04,364 --> 00:01:08,596 is whether or not she goes to parents' day. Susan doesn't. 7 00:01:09,669 --> 00:01:12,695 But Vicky's your only child. Doesn't Susan care? 8 00:01:12,739 --> 00:01:14,570 Oh, she cares. She's adamant. 9 00:01:14,607 --> 00:01:17,508 Parents' day is the one day a year when you get to meet the teachers, 10 00:01:17,544 --> 00:01:21,173 discuss academic prospects and plan for the future. 11 00:01:21,214 --> 00:01:24,240 Susan thinks Vicky's smart enough to handle the staff on her own. 12 00:01:24,284 --> 00:01:27,344 That's why she never goes. Well, so do I. That's why I always go. 13 00:01:27,987 --> 00:01:29,750 Will Vicky want me there? 14 00:01:30,623 --> 00:01:32,921 Course she wants you there! She adores you! 15 00:01:32,959 --> 00:01:36,258 Oh, all right. I'll go. But I'm not wearing the tiara. 16 00:01:36,296 --> 00:01:38,230 I'll see you tomorrow, Lovejoy. 17 00:01:43,336 --> 00:01:45,236 (Bell rings, door closes) 18 00:01:45,271 --> 00:01:49,367 Brains, beauty and a working car. What more does a person need? 19 00:01:49,409 --> 00:01:51,570 - Fine arts. - Eh? 20 00:01:51,611 --> 00:01:55,775 That's what you need. We should be dealing with more classy stuff. 21 00:01:55,815 --> 00:01:58,750 - More arts. - You don't know your arts from your elbow. 22 00:01:58,785 --> 00:02:00,776 Yeah, ell I'm doing a course, aren't I? 23 00:02:00,820 --> 00:02:06,190 Well, it's more a creative workshop actually. A self-stimulating community of artists. 24 00:02:06,226 --> 00:02:10,890 - I'm gonna open the door to my inner self. - No, you're not. You're gonna get me a drink. 25 00:02:14,734 --> 00:02:16,702 - Mr. Lovejoy? - Yes? 26 00:02:16,736 --> 00:02:19,296 I'd like you to sell some prints for me. 27 00:02:19,339 --> 00:02:21,933 - Some Fuselis. - Fuselis? 28 00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:26,908 - (Whispers) I'll have the drink now, Eric. - Eh? 29 00:02:28,948 --> 00:02:32,008 This is a bound folio of original prints. 30 00:02:34,587 --> 00:02:37,112 Looks genuine. Quite a find for a teenager, Miss? 31 00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:39,990 How much are they worth? Can you value them? 32 00:02:40,627 --> 00:02:42,686 Aren't you gonna take a look? 33 00:02:42,729 --> 00:02:45,254 (Gasps) We can't sell these! 34 00:02:46,099 --> 00:02:48,226 But they must be worth thousands. 35 00:02:48,268 --> 00:02:53,103 After the Marquis de Sade, Fuseli was the greatest pornographer of the 18th century! 36 00:02:53,907 --> 00:02:58,571 - Doesn't he know that? - Well, he's more of an inner-self man. 37 00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:02,910 Pornography's a closed door to me. I don't see the point in peeking through the keyhole. 38 00:03:02,949 --> 00:03:05,645 It's just a bare room. What you see is dull and obvious. 39 00:03:05,685 --> 00:03:09,382 It's all sex, but with all the passion and intensity locked out. 40 00:03:09,422 --> 00:03:11,788 This is not pornography. 41 00:03:12,358 --> 00:03:15,987 A man's whole being went into this. No two hairs are the same. 42 00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:18,554 No two skins have the same texture. 43 00:03:18,598 --> 00:03:22,295 He never uses the same light, color, gesture, shadow, movement. 44 00:03:22,335 --> 00:03:25,202 Instead of locking out our senses, he draws them in. 45 00:03:25,238 --> 00:03:29,231 Warmth, touch, emotion, passion. 46 00:03:29,909 --> 00:03:33,003 Look at Fuseli. Door's open. 47 00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:34,775 Can you sell them? 48 00:03:34,814 --> 00:03:39,080 A young woman arrives on my doorstep with an armful of priceless erotica. 49 00:03:39,118 --> 00:03:41,848 Course I can sell 'em when I get over the shock. 50 00:03:41,888 --> 00:03:43,116 How long will that take? 51 00:03:43,156 --> 00:03:46,023 Ooh, a couple of days on Valiums and I'll get back to you. 52 00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:48,653 - I take it you're not the owner? - What? 53 00:03:49,629 --> 00:03:52,154 - Who are you working for? - Oh. 54 00:03:52,198 --> 00:03:54,393 I, um... I can't say. 55 00:03:54,434 --> 00:03:58,302 I don't blame you. If I was them, I wouldn't want to shout about it either. 56 00:03:58,338 --> 00:04:00,863 If I need to get in touch with you, where will I phone you? 57 00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:02,602 I'll phone you. 58 00:04:17,523 --> 00:04:20,048 - No car. - How did you get here? 59 00:04:20,994 --> 00:04:24,293 - On the train. - At least you had something to read. 60 00:04:30,703 --> 00:04:33,501 (Chatter and laughter) 61 00:04:43,549 --> 00:04:44,811 (Cheering) 62 00:04:44,851 --> 00:04:46,182 (Applause) 63 00:04:47,820 --> 00:04:50,721 Where the hell has Vicky got to now? 64 00:04:50,757 --> 00:04:53,021 She's just popped to the refreshment tent. 65 00:04:53,993 --> 00:04:55,620 This is the refreshment tent! 66 00:04:55,662 --> 00:05:00,190 - This is the third from arts and crafts. - They've got Pimm's. 67 00:05:00,233 --> 00:05:03,430 Why else would anyone come to third form arts and crafts? 68 00:05:03,469 --> 00:05:05,630 (Woman) Excuse me! Excuse me. 69 00:05:05,672 --> 00:05:09,108 - You're obscuring Lavinia's still life. - Oh! Excuse me. Excuse me, girls. 70 00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:13,738 - (Lavinia) That's my painting. - Oh, is it? It's charming. Delightful. 71 00:05:13,780 --> 00:05:16,146 - Well done, Lavinia. - Thank you. 72 00:05:17,417 --> 00:05:20,909 You total creep. I bet you were head girl in your day, weren't you? 73 00:05:20,953 --> 00:05:22,545 Of course. 74 00:05:23,256 --> 00:05:26,453 - (Girl) Mum! - Darling! 75 00:05:27,026 --> 00:05:28,960 - Where are we going? - Refreshment tent. 76 00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:31,623 Sweetheart, I've just been to the refreshment tent! 77 00:05:31,664 --> 00:05:34,861 You stranded me there with Mrs. Harrington-Morse half an hour ago. 78 00:05:34,901 --> 00:05:37,597 - I thought you wanted to meet them! - I wanted to meet him. 79 00:05:37,637 --> 00:05:39,468 He's an important client. 80 00:05:39,505 --> 00:05:43,339 I don't understand it. The man manufactures sofabeds, why did he have to marry one? 81 00:05:43,376 --> 00:05:45,867 - Mum! - Well, it's your holiday. 82 00:05:45,912 --> 00:05:50,747 But all the champagne and Jacuzzis in the world wouldn't entice me into Homestead Mansions. 83 00:05:51,651 --> 00:05:53,482 Mum, there's something I haven't told you. 84 00:05:53,519 --> 00:05:56,283 - Dad's here. - Darling, why didn't you tell me? 85 00:05:56,322 --> 00:05:58,813 - What a lovely surprise! - Well, I wouldn't bank on it. 86 00:05:58,858 --> 00:06:02,521 He's brought someone with him because he didn't expect you to be here either. 87 00:06:02,562 --> 00:06:07,022 Clearly! Oh, I'm sorry, darling. Is she embarrassingly young? 88 00:06:07,867 --> 00:06:09,198 See for yourself. 89 00:06:09,902 --> 00:06:11,301 (Susan) Lovejoy! 90 00:06:11,337 --> 00:06:13,931 Susie! You look wonderful. What are you doing here? 91 00:06:13,973 --> 00:06:16,567 - I was Vicky's surprise. - I must be yours. 92 00:06:16,609 --> 00:06:20,477 Jane, Susan, my mother. Mum, Lady Jane Felsham. 93 00:06:20,513 --> 00:06:22,481 - Lovejoy's... - Landlady. 94 00:06:22,515 --> 00:06:24,380 - I don't believe it. - I beg your pardon? 95 00:06:24,417 --> 00:06:27,250 Mr. Harrington-Morse! We meet again. How nice. 96 00:06:27,286 --> 00:06:30,084 As I was saying, I want to get into your bedroom, Susan. 97 00:06:30,123 --> 00:06:32,216 I want to get into everybody's bedroom 98 00:06:32,258 --> 00:06:36,558 and replace that six-foot-by-four-foot piece of clutter with a Homestead sofabed. 99 00:06:36,596 --> 00:06:39,759 "Pull me up a put-you-up and pick me up!" Our slogan. What do you think? 100 00:06:39,799 --> 00:06:43,599 Mr. Harrington-Morse is chief executive of Homestead, the sofabed company. 101 00:06:43,636 --> 00:06:46,002 Mr. And Mrs. Harrington-Morse, this is Lovejoy... 102 00:06:46,038 --> 00:06:48,063 - Mr. Lovejoy. ...my husband. Ex-husband. 103 00:06:48,107 --> 00:06:50,473 - And Lady Jane Felsham, Lovejoy's... - How do you do? 104 00:06:50,510 --> 00:06:51,534 Landlady. 105 00:06:51,577 --> 00:06:54,478 - What do you do, Lovejoy? - Six months in the nick as a rule. 106 00:06:54,514 --> 00:06:56,812 Really? What do you sleep on? 107 00:06:57,683 --> 00:07:01,619 (Woman) Pass me some lemon, please, Sonia. (Girl) There you go. 108 00:07:06,325 --> 00:07:08,520 Now I definitely need a Pimm's. 109 00:07:09,195 --> 00:07:11,629 With a man like that you don't need a bed to fall asleep, 110 00:07:11,664 --> 00:07:14,098 you're nodding off after the first sentence! 111 00:07:14,133 --> 00:07:15,794 Excuse me. Sorry. Thank you. 112 00:07:16,669 --> 00:07:18,694 What on earth made you say that about prison? 113 00:07:18,738 --> 00:07:21,002 - It's true, isn't it? - Well, of course it's true. 114 00:07:21,974 --> 00:07:26,240 If it wasn't true, I wouldn't want you to lie about it. Don't they teach you anything at this school? 115 00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:28,543 - Enough. - Uh... a Pimm's, please. 116 00:07:29,081 --> 00:07:30,070 Lovely, thank you. 117 00:07:30,116 --> 00:07:32,050 (Pop music playing) 118 00:07:35,555 --> 00:07:36,613 - Ah! - Ah! 119 00:07:36,656 --> 00:07:40,217 Victoria's parents. How nice to meet you both... together. 120 00:07:40,259 --> 00:07:45,162 I've been meaning to speak to you. There seems to be a mix-up over this term's school fees. 121 00:07:46,232 --> 00:07:48,894 Your husband must have overlooked the payment, Mrs. Lovejoy. 122 00:07:48,935 --> 00:07:50,664 - This isn't Mrs. Lovejoy. - Indeed? 123 00:07:50,703 --> 00:07:54,696 Indeed. Jane, Miss Hemmingway. Miss Hemmingway, my landlady, Lady Felsham. 124 00:07:54,740 --> 00:07:58,938 Oh, Lady Felsham. It's so good of you to take an interest in Vicky. 125 00:07:58,978 --> 00:08:02,004 A nice child. Despite all the difficulties. 126 00:08:02,748 --> 00:08:05,581 What line of business are you pursuing now, Mr. Lovejoy? 127 00:08:05,618 --> 00:08:08,086 - The same. - I see. 128 00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:10,384 Lovejoy and I work together. 129 00:08:10,423 --> 00:08:11,447 Oh! 130 00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:15,985 Are you in antiques, Lady Felsham? I've been looking for someone reliable for the library. 131 00:08:16,028 --> 00:08:19,327 We're refurbishing. We have one or two fine collections. 132 00:08:19,365 --> 00:08:22,095 The insurance company insists on a valuation. 133 00:08:22,134 --> 00:08:25,592 I couldn't be an awful bore and trouble you for an opinion, could I? 134 00:08:25,638 --> 00:08:29,005 Well, one of us really ought to wait here for Susan and Vicky, 135 00:08:29,041 --> 00:08:32,272 but I'm sure Lovejoy would be delighted to give you a view. 136 00:08:32,311 --> 00:08:35,041 - Oh. - Books, more his area. 137 00:08:35,615 --> 00:08:37,549 Oh. Well... 138 00:08:37,583 --> 00:08:40,108 Very well. Come along, Mr. Lovejoy. 139 00:08:42,622 --> 00:08:44,317 What are you doing? 140 00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:47,622 This is a golden opportunity to change her impression of you. 141 00:08:47,660 --> 00:08:49,719 If you please, Mr. Lovejoy. 142 00:08:59,005 --> 00:09:01,496 - You're ruining these books. - I beg your pardon? 143 00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:05,500 A fine collection of Victorian theology displayed on these. 144 00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:08,605 - These walnut cabinets? - Yes, but open to the air, humidity, 145 00:09:08,648 --> 00:09:13,415 - constant temperature changes, varnish taint. - I see. And you would recommend what? 146 00:09:13,452 --> 00:09:18,219 - Modern, hermetically-sealed shelving units. - Rather expensive, I fear. 147 00:09:18,257 --> 00:09:22,751 Yes, but as a parent and for Badenside, I could always arrange a part exchange. 148 00:09:22,795 --> 00:09:25,457 Yes, I'm sure you always could, Mr. Lovejoy. 149 00:09:26,632 --> 00:09:28,657 But no. 150 00:09:28,701 --> 00:09:32,159 Perhaps it's silly of me, but I really can't imagine the library without them. 151 00:09:32,204 --> 00:09:35,662 - After all, they have been here since 1704. - Hm. 152 00:09:35,708 --> 00:09:40,145 Now, as to the fees, school ends on Thursday, 153 00:09:40,179 --> 00:09:43,376 - and I shall expect full payment. - (Door opens) 154 00:09:44,717 --> 00:09:47,345 Khadija! What are you doing in there? 155 00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:51,648 The Mistresses' Library is strictly out of bounds to girls. 156 00:09:52,692 --> 00:09:53,989 I... 157 00:09:54,493 --> 00:09:57,826 I was looking for the railway timetables. When I couldn't find them... 158 00:09:57,863 --> 00:10:01,924 You're boarding here during the holidays, why would you want a timetable? 159 00:10:01,968 --> 00:10:05,131 - Train spotting. - Don't be impertinent, Khadija. 160 00:10:05,171 --> 00:10:07,662 - How did you get in? - The door was unlocked... 161 00:10:07,707 --> 00:10:10,403 Nonsense. That door is never unlocked. 162 00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:15,244 The contents are irreplaceable. Khadija, you will report to my study immediately. 163 00:10:18,250 --> 00:10:19,683 (Locks door) 164 00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:23,020 You must excuse me, Mr. Lovejoy. 165 00:10:31,497 --> 00:10:34,489 - Go on, Mummy. I've made loads and loads. - Lovely, darling. 166 00:10:35,935 --> 00:10:37,300 Ooh, Lavinia. 167 00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:43,400 Oh, Vicky! Excuse me. Excuse me, ladies. 168 00:10:43,442 --> 00:10:45,569 Jane, excuse me. Vicky... 169 00:10:45,611 --> 00:10:48,171 Do you know a girl called Khadija? 170 00:10:48,214 --> 00:10:51,877 Oh, yeah! You know Richie Subhani, the newspaper proprietor? 171 00:10:51,917 --> 00:10:53,976 - She's his daughter. - Rich, eh? 172 00:10:54,020 --> 00:10:56,545 Oh, stinking! Mum. 173 00:10:56,589 --> 00:10:59,752 Father claims to be a devout Muslim. All his daughters come here. 174 00:10:59,792 --> 00:11:04,661 Unlike you, he recognizes a good working medieval torture chamber when he sees one. 175 00:11:04,697 --> 00:11:06,892 - Do you take sugar? - No, no I don't. 176 00:11:07,366 --> 00:11:10,995 - Yeah. What do you make of her? - Well, the typical "Miss milk monitor" type. 177 00:11:11,037 --> 00:11:13,767 - Straight and narrow, eh? - Oh, sticks to it like superglue. 178 00:11:13,806 --> 00:11:17,037 Aisha, that's her older sister, used to be pretty wild, but she's left now. 179 00:11:17,076 --> 00:11:20,637 Gone to Fairfax College in Cambridge. Why did you wanna know anyway? 180 00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:25,242 Well, Miss Hemmingway and I just bumped into her coming out of the Mistresses' Library. 181 00:11:25,284 --> 00:11:27,878 - What Khadija? - Yeah, Khadija. 182 00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:30,889 Look, Mum. He's eating one. Go on! 183 00:11:30,923 --> 00:11:32,515 (Indistinct) 184 00:11:33,726 --> 00:11:35,193 Go on! 185 00:11:36,362 --> 00:11:37,954 So what did Picasso use? 186 00:11:37,997 --> 00:11:41,125 After his Blue Period, he tended to favor black. 187 00:11:42,301 --> 00:11:45,202 - Ah! Braque, now I've heard of him. - No, black! 188 00:11:45,237 --> 00:11:48,035 Braque turned to red, that's why they fell out. 189 00:11:48,074 --> 00:11:51,373 Ah. And Cézanne tended to use more traditional materials. 190 00:11:51,410 --> 00:11:54,311 Pastel colors and a felt tip. 191 00:11:54,346 --> 00:11:57,782 - Mostly green. - Oh, I don't know about green. 192 00:11:57,817 --> 00:11:59,614 It's a bit military. 193 00:12:00,853 --> 00:12:03,083 - No, I think I'll stick to the black. - You're sure? 194 00:12:03,122 --> 00:12:06,353 Yeah. If it's good enough for Picasso, it's good enough for me. 195 00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:10,226 One felt tip... in black. 196 00:12:10,262 --> 00:12:11,559 Yes! 197 00:12:12,598 --> 00:12:14,463 (Laughs) 198 00:12:14,500 --> 00:12:16,365 Cézanne, eh? 199 00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:18,996 Cos I'm a bit of an impressionist myself, you know. 200 00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:22,533 Chuck Berry. (Laughs) 201 00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:23,974 Chuck... 202 00:12:24,009 --> 00:12:28,036 Yeah, well, I'll take some of this goulash while I'm here as well. (Clears throat) 203 00:12:30,216 --> 00:12:32,707 - Right. Till Thursday, then. - Thursday? 204 00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:35,812 - I've arranged to meet Mr. And Mrs. Sofabed. - Ugh. 205 00:12:35,855 --> 00:12:38,119 So that we can see Vicky off on her holiday. 206 00:12:38,157 --> 00:12:39,647 - (Engine starts) - Don't worry. 207 00:12:39,692 --> 00:12:43,651 I'll treat you to a light supper afterwards. We really ought to get together more often. 208 00:12:43,696 --> 00:12:46,221 - Oh, Susan. - Lovejoy. 209 00:12:46,265 --> 00:12:48,825 Thursday. I'll pick you up. 210 00:12:53,806 --> 00:12:57,401 (Tannoy) Will the parent who has parked the Range Rover with the horse box 211 00:12:57,443 --> 00:13:00,503 at the front gate, blocking it, please move it immediately. 212 00:13:00,546 --> 00:13:04,607 - Where's the money? - I'm trying to get it! I think I've found a way! 213 00:13:04,650 --> 00:13:07,778 Taking our time, aren't we lovey? Perhaps we'd better go and see Daddy after all. 214 00:13:07,820 --> 00:13:11,551 - No, you mustn't! I'll get it, I promise. - I don't take promises. 215 00:13:11,590 --> 00:13:14,252 - Just a few more days. - (Engine starts) 216 00:13:14,727 --> 00:13:18,788 - Two more days, then it's bye-bye Bobby. - Bye-bye. 217 00:13:22,034 --> 00:13:23,968 Who's Bobby? 218 00:13:24,003 --> 00:13:25,334 You in some sort of trouble? 219 00:13:25,371 --> 00:13:29,137 Khadija Subhani, I told you to report to my study immediately. 220 00:13:31,243 --> 00:13:33,006 I've got to go. 221 00:13:35,214 --> 00:13:38,980 This is disgusting. And she looked like such a nice girl. 222 00:13:39,418 --> 00:13:41,648 Don't be so ready to condemn, Eric. 223 00:13:41,687 --> 00:13:44,212 She's not the kind of girl who owns pornography. 224 00:13:44,256 --> 00:13:46,520 - Isn't she? - Nah, she steals it. 225 00:13:53,499 --> 00:13:58,027 Agh! Why don't you learn to drive? 226 00:13:58,070 --> 00:14:00,061 Well, at least it goes. 227 00:14:02,942 --> 00:14:05,376 Just wait here a moment if you wouldn't mind. 228 00:14:06,879 --> 00:14:08,437 (Sighs) 229 00:14:17,590 --> 00:14:18,955 Please go in. 230 00:14:26,632 --> 00:14:28,065 I'm intrigued. 231 00:14:29,068 --> 00:14:31,400 Tell me, Mr. Lovejoy. What made you think of me? 232 00:14:31,437 --> 00:14:35,430 Instinct. Pure antiquarian instinct. 233 00:14:35,474 --> 00:14:37,669 I see. Your instinct... 234 00:14:43,916 --> 00:14:46,316 Your instinct told you this was a school possession. 235 00:14:46,352 --> 00:14:48,684 A rare and valuable one. 236 00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:54,091 What kind of parent imagines his daughter's exclusive public school collects pornography? 237 00:14:54,126 --> 00:14:57,118 As for your instincts, I think the least said about them the better. 238 00:14:57,162 --> 00:14:59,528 You mean the Fuselis don't belong to Badenside? 239 00:14:59,565 --> 00:15:01,362 Certainly not. 240 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:05,359 And if that disappoints you, perhaps Vicky would be happier at a comprehensive. 241 00:15:05,871 --> 00:15:07,862 Good day, Mr. Lovejoy. 242 00:15:16,248 --> 00:15:18,148 - (Car horn) - (Tires screech) 243 00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:23,481 - Naughty. - That's what Miss Hemmingway said. 244 00:15:23,522 --> 00:15:25,615 (Laughs) I'm not surprised. 245 00:15:25,658 --> 00:15:28,593 Fuseli has a very elongated style. 246 00:15:28,627 --> 00:15:31,095 Do you think so? I always admired his realism. 247 00:15:31,830 --> 00:15:33,161 - Realism? - Mm. 248 00:15:33,198 --> 00:15:36,292 But... no two human beings can do that. 249 00:15:36,802 --> 00:15:39,236 At least, not to each other. 250 00:15:40,005 --> 00:15:42,064 Don't even think it. 251 00:15:42,541 --> 00:15:45,806 - What are you going to do with them? - I'm gonna find out where they came from. 252 00:15:45,844 --> 00:15:48,608 Well, the girl obviously didn't steal them from the school. 253 00:15:48,647 --> 00:15:51,514 - Maybe they're a family heirloom. - (Sighs) 254 00:15:51,550 --> 00:15:53,575 Cor! Dear me! 255 00:15:56,655 --> 00:15:58,714 (Pop music and voices in background) 256 00:16:00,859 --> 00:16:04,454 Can I come in, Khadija? Oh, that's nice. Is that what you're wearing to the wedding? 257 00:16:04,496 --> 00:16:05,929 No! 258 00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:08,490 Oh, um... Perhaps to the reception. 259 00:16:09,535 --> 00:16:13,528 You know, it seems only yesterday that your sister was here. 260 00:16:13,572 --> 00:16:15,665 This was Aisha's study as well. 261 00:16:16,608 --> 00:16:20,203 Now she's getting married. To a Khan, no less. 262 00:16:20,245 --> 00:16:22,236 Your father must be thrilled. 263 00:16:22,715 --> 00:16:23,909 Yes. 264 00:16:25,184 --> 00:16:27,948 The Khans are a very important Muslim family. 265 00:16:29,021 --> 00:16:32,388 If there's anything you need, your father's made ample arrangements. 266 00:16:32,424 --> 00:16:35,587 We could go shopping. If you need money... 267 00:16:35,627 --> 00:16:37,686 No, I don't. 268 00:16:37,730 --> 00:16:40,255 I thought that was why you'd stolen the Fuselis. 269 00:16:40,299 --> 00:16:45,202 No. I didn't take the Fuselis because I needed money, I told you. 270 00:16:45,237 --> 00:16:47,569 I wasn't going to sell them. 271 00:16:47,606 --> 00:16:51,337 - I don't need money. - Well, you must have had a reason. 272 00:16:51,377 --> 00:16:53,174 Why didn't you tell me? 273 00:16:54,079 --> 00:16:56,673 Because you were so beastly to Aisha. 274 00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:00,819 Khadija, is everything all right? 275 00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:02,616 Yes. 276 00:17:02,654 --> 00:17:05,088 I know you're very close to your sister. 277 00:17:05,758 --> 00:17:08,693 Oh, I understand. You feel left out. 278 00:17:09,695 --> 00:17:12,289 People do get married, you know. 279 00:17:12,331 --> 00:17:15,767 You'll find that out for yourself sooner or later. 280 00:17:15,801 --> 00:17:19,897 It doesn't mean that people forget about their friends and their family, it just means... 281 00:17:19,938 --> 00:17:24,034 - You never liked Aisha, did you? - Well, of course I did. She was my pupil. 282 00:17:24,076 --> 00:17:27,375 But she caused us a lot of anxiety running away like that. 283 00:17:27,413 --> 00:17:29,881 Disappearing for a whole week for no good reason. 284 00:17:29,915 --> 00:17:32,110 It was for a reason. 285 00:17:32,151 --> 00:17:34,415 But it was her business, not yours. 286 00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:37,452 Aisha was still a pupil, a pupil at my school. 287 00:17:37,489 --> 00:17:40,754 That makes it my business and my responsibility. 288 00:17:40,793 --> 00:17:43,819 As for the Fuselis, you're very lucky, Khadija. 289 00:17:43,862 --> 00:17:46,854 As it happens, I don't want it made public. 290 00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:49,197 I can't afford a scandal in my school. 291 00:17:50,135 --> 00:17:52,126 So I've given them away. 292 00:17:55,407 --> 00:17:58,638 As far as I'm concerned, that's the end of the matter. All right? 293 00:18:11,857 --> 00:18:13,586 (Man) Hello, Lovejoy! 294 00:18:16,995 --> 00:18:21,261 - Not your usual line. - No, I'm looking after them for a schoolgirl. 295 00:18:21,300 --> 00:18:25,202 Oh, I understand. No names, no pack drill. 296 00:18:26,438 --> 00:18:28,338 We'd better go through to the back. 297 00:18:31,443 --> 00:18:34,970 Tidy... Very, very tidy, Lovejoy. 298 00:18:35,681 --> 00:18:38,844 The only thing I ask is, please, don't tell me where you got them. 299 00:18:38,884 --> 00:18:41,352 I already have. I wanna know where my client got them. 300 00:18:41,386 --> 00:18:43,684 Yes, you can't be too careful, can you? 301 00:18:44,223 --> 00:18:48,057 I don't know, though. It's very difficult to provenance quality. 302 00:18:48,093 --> 00:18:51,221 - There's only one or two specialists, you see. - So who do they belong to? 303 00:18:51,263 --> 00:18:54,790 If I knew that one, I'd have nicked them myself. How much do you want? 304 00:18:54,833 --> 00:18:57,927 I don't want to sell them, I wanna know where they came from. 305 00:18:57,970 --> 00:19:00,837 Well, a big collector. That's for certain. 306 00:19:00,873 --> 00:19:02,534 Not one of mine, though. 307 00:19:02,574 --> 00:19:06,476 - You could try the Shevandin collection. - Shevandin? That's tourist junk, isn't it? 308 00:19:06,512 --> 00:19:09,709 It happens to be our annual do, Lovejoy. 309 00:19:09,748 --> 00:19:11,875 You can leave this with me, if you like. (Laughing) 310 00:19:11,917 --> 00:19:14,977 You don't want to be caught carrying around dodgy stuff, now, do you? 311 00:19:15,020 --> 00:19:17,215 If there's a reward, Taffy, I'll need it myself. 312 00:19:17,256 --> 00:19:20,919 - You're not paying rent at last, are you? - No. School fees. 313 00:19:23,762 --> 00:19:24,751 (Sighs) 314 00:19:25,397 --> 00:19:26,728 (Wind blowing) 315 00:19:30,469 --> 00:19:32,061 (Bell) 316 00:19:32,104 --> 00:19:33,833 Ah! The train spotter. 317 00:19:34,506 --> 00:19:37,339 - I've brought some more prints. - Timetables? 318 00:19:37,376 --> 00:19:38,434 No. 319 00:19:40,345 --> 00:19:45,578 Fragonard, Daumier, Géricault and Raimondi. 320 00:19:46,385 --> 00:19:50,412 - Do you know my daughter, Vicky? - Not very well. She's a year behind me. 321 00:19:50,455 --> 00:19:52,389 Yeah, at least. 322 00:19:52,424 --> 00:19:55,825 - Is this more porn? - Haven't you heard of Fragonard? 323 00:19:55,861 --> 00:19:57,453 - He went to a comprehensive. - Oh. 324 00:19:57,496 --> 00:20:00,329 Where did you get these from? You steal them from your father? 325 00:20:00,365 --> 00:20:03,664 God, no. And I'm not a criminal if that's what you think. 326 00:20:03,702 --> 00:20:06,432 Oh, no. You're just a run-of-the-mill sixth former. 327 00:20:06,471 --> 00:20:09,668 Latin, French and a hundred grand's worth of antique erotica. 328 00:20:09,708 --> 00:20:13,269 I'm not a little girl, either. Don't patronize me. 329 00:20:14,479 --> 00:20:17,243 We must have a deal. I don't know where else to go. 330 00:20:17,983 --> 00:20:19,814 I need a quick sale. 331 00:20:20,519 --> 00:20:23,317 - How did you get here? - I came by train. 332 00:20:23,355 --> 00:20:27,291 For such a train enthusiast, you don't know much about the Eastern Region do you? 333 00:20:27,326 --> 00:20:29,726 - (Baaing) - We're a bit isolated here. 334 00:20:29,761 --> 00:20:33,527 There's only two trains a day. One at 7:30 to bring the station master to work, 335 00:20:33,565 --> 00:20:37,433 and one at five o'clock to take him home. Baaaaaaa! 336 00:20:40,572 --> 00:20:43,735 Oh, nice books. Where do you steal 'em? 337 00:20:43,775 --> 00:20:45,504 You! 338 00:20:46,345 --> 00:20:49,508 You stupid little cow. You said you'd found a buyer! 339 00:20:49,548 --> 00:20:51,675 He is. He's an antiques dealer. 340 00:20:51,717 --> 00:20:53,742 - He's been in prison. - Get in the car. 341 00:20:53,785 --> 00:20:55,980 No, wait. 342 00:20:56,021 --> 00:20:59,149 - I don't like bullies. - My dear chap. 343 00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:01,923 - I'm an old friend of the family. - Ooh! 344 00:21:06,732 --> 00:21:08,029 What happened? 345 00:21:08,066 --> 00:21:09,124 - (Car horn) - Ooh! 346 00:21:09,167 --> 00:21:12,193 - What's going on? - Who was that maniac? 347 00:21:12,237 --> 00:21:13,534 Get in. 348 00:21:16,074 --> 00:21:18,304 - What's going on? - Just get in, Eric. 349 00:21:19,211 --> 00:21:22,647 - (Eric) She almost killed me! - That would be some compensation! 350 00:21:25,350 --> 00:21:27,910 (Susan) Miss Hemmingway phoned from Badenside. 351 00:21:27,953 --> 00:21:32,447 Honestly, Lovejoy, I can understand you trying to strip the shelves from her library. 352 00:21:32,491 --> 00:21:35,688 I can even understand the school fees being six months in arrears. 353 00:21:35,727 --> 00:21:38,389 What on earth possessed you to offer the woman pornography? 354 00:21:38,430 --> 00:21:41,331 - Well, there was this schoolgirl... - I've never been so embarrassed. 355 00:21:41,366 --> 00:21:42,355 (Lovejoy sighs) 356 00:21:42,401 --> 00:21:45,234 (Susan) She said perhaps you were confused over methods of payment. 357 00:21:45,270 --> 00:21:49,570 They take cash, checks, standing orders, banker's drafts and covenants. 358 00:21:49,608 --> 00:21:53,567 What they do not accept is 18th century porn on account. 359 00:21:54,746 --> 00:21:56,737 - Where are we going? - (Lovejoy) To London. 360 00:21:56,782 --> 00:21:59,808 If that maniac wants to sell those books, that's where he's got to go. 361 00:21:59,851 --> 00:22:03,014 (Susan) What books? (Eric) The 18th century porn. 362 00:22:03,055 --> 00:22:06,320 (Susan) Uh! Slow down, Lovejoy! You'll have us all in the ditch! 363 00:22:09,127 --> 00:22:10,924 (Susan) You're really a liability. 364 00:22:14,199 --> 00:22:16,759 - Eric, get us a taxi. - But, this is the auction room. 365 00:22:16,802 --> 00:22:18,667 Do you wanna walk home, Eric? Get us a taxi! 366 00:22:18,704 --> 00:22:21,696 But we're supposed to be saying goodbye to Vicky for the holiday. 367 00:22:21,740 --> 00:22:24,504 I've arranged to meet the Harrington-Morses at the Savoy for tea! 368 00:22:24,543 --> 00:22:26,534 Can't make it. I've got to find Khadija. 369 00:22:26,578 --> 00:22:29,046 - I'm sorry. It's very important. - But so is Vicky. 370 00:22:29,081 --> 00:22:31,515 - Here's our taxi. - Your taxi. 371 00:22:31,550 --> 00:22:34,417 - My taxi? - Your taxi. I need the car Susan. 372 00:22:34,453 --> 00:22:37,047 Eric, these are the auction rooms. Get out of the cab. 373 00:22:37,089 --> 00:22:38,317 - Hey? - Out! 374 00:22:38,357 --> 00:22:41,918 - Savoy, sir? - Lovejoy, that's not for two hours yet! 375 00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:45,123 I've got to get my hair done. Although I'll go back to the office first. 376 00:22:45,163 --> 00:22:50,328 Not the Savoy, Berwick Street. Harrington-Morse is one of my biggest clients! 377 00:22:50,369 --> 00:22:53,566 Oh, my God! The market research. Fetters Lane! 378 00:22:53,605 --> 00:22:57,769 Lovejoy, if my car isn't at the Savoy by 3p.m., I'll kill you! 379 00:22:57,809 --> 00:23:00,334 And if you're not there, I'll never speak to you again. 380 00:23:00,379 --> 00:23:03,109 And another thing! 381 00:23:04,182 --> 00:23:07,811 - What made you get married, Lovejoy? - I talked her into it. 382 00:23:09,454 --> 00:23:11,615 What about the car? It's on a yellow line. 383 00:23:11,656 --> 00:23:13,647 - Well, you deal with it! - (Sighs) 384 00:23:40,485 --> 00:23:42,476 Lot number 66. 385 00:23:42,921 --> 00:23:47,187 Victorian, One Upturned Lady Having Fallen Off Bike. 386 00:23:47,225 --> 00:23:51,559 Artist unknown, but a fine piece of craftsmanship. What am I bid? 387 00:23:52,297 --> 00:23:54,356 Who'll start me on £100? 388 00:23:54,399 --> 00:23:56,765 - Do I hear 120? - (Whispering) Hello, Sam. 389 00:23:56,802 --> 00:24:00,135 - (Auctioneer) 120. Thank you. - Seen any Fuseli, Fragonard, 390 00:24:00,172 --> 00:24:03,005 Daumier, Géricault? 391 00:24:03,041 --> 00:24:05,407 - No, I haven't. - (Auctioneer)... with you madam. 392 00:24:05,444 --> 00:24:09,574 Are you sure you're interested, dear boy? Rather beyond your pocket I would have thought. 393 00:24:09,614 --> 00:24:14,313 - I'm not buying, Sam. I'm retrieving. - Ah! Cheaper. 394 00:24:15,053 --> 00:24:19,353 Far more difficult. This is a somewhat secretive market. 395 00:24:19,391 --> 00:24:21,120 Who are the major collectors? 396 00:24:21,159 --> 00:24:27,098 Dear boy, were I able to name names, I would have retired on the wages of extortion. 397 00:24:27,132 --> 00:24:31,466 Sensitive, you see. Dirty books. 398 00:24:31,503 --> 00:24:33,733 Who's selling, Sam? 399 00:24:36,775 --> 00:24:42,304 There is a frisson in the trade. Certain wealthy parties wait with bated breath. 400 00:24:42,948 --> 00:24:45,746 Not, sadly, that they are of my personal acquaintance, 401 00:24:45,784 --> 00:24:48,981 this job doesn't pay tremendously well. 402 00:24:49,020 --> 00:24:50,487 - Please. - Shh. 403 00:24:50,522 --> 00:24:53,958 Have some respect for the confidentiality of the saleroom. 404 00:24:53,992 --> 00:24:56,051 (Auctioneer) 1900. 405 00:24:56,094 --> 00:24:58,289 - 1900, thank you. - Welshman with a gun shop. 406 00:24:58,330 --> 00:24:59,763 Taffy Griffiths. 407 00:25:00,599 --> 00:25:03,261 (Auctioneer) 2,000. Do I hear 2,100? 408 00:25:04,636 --> 00:25:05,864 I'm selling at 2,000. 409 00:25:05,904 --> 00:25:09,237 This morning he was talking about a collection. 410 00:25:09,274 --> 00:25:12,334 - A tidy one, by all accounts. - Oh. 411 00:25:12,377 --> 00:25:15,505 Lot number 68, My Adonis. 412 00:25:15,547 --> 00:25:17,139 Do I hear £50? 413 00:25:17,182 --> 00:25:19,207 Good heavens. 414 00:25:19,251 --> 00:25:21,048 Cor, look at that. 415 00:25:21,086 --> 00:25:24,055 Thank you. Do I hear 55? 416 00:25:24,089 --> 00:25:27,422 I'm selling. Going once, going twice... 417 00:25:27,459 --> 00:25:30,758 (Bangs gavel) Sold for £50 to the gentleman in the beret. 418 00:25:31,897 --> 00:25:33,956 Oh, Eric, what have you done? 419 00:25:38,136 --> 00:25:39,865 (Eric sighs) 420 00:25:39,905 --> 00:25:43,341 - Give me the keys, Eric. - I mean, what am I gonna do with this? 421 00:25:43,375 --> 00:25:45,502 I dunno. You bought it, you must've liked it. 422 00:25:45,544 --> 00:25:47,910 Well, I'll never be able to shift it round our way. 423 00:25:47,946 --> 00:25:49,937 I mean, it's disgusting. 424 00:25:50,782 --> 00:25:52,374 What's up? 425 00:25:53,485 --> 00:25:54,782 (Door opens) 426 00:25:54,819 --> 00:25:57,413 (Lovejoy) You're closing for lunch, Taffy. 427 00:25:57,455 --> 00:25:59,821 Excuse me, please. Just one moment. 428 00:25:59,858 --> 00:26:01,416 What the bloody hell is this? 429 00:26:01,459 --> 00:26:05,452 This morning I was relieved of a very fine collection of antique erotica. 430 00:26:05,497 --> 00:26:08,057 - Lovejoy... please! - And now you are flooding the market. 431 00:26:08,099 --> 00:26:09,726 What the hell's going on, Taffy? 432 00:26:09,768 --> 00:26:11,998 Lovejoy, I'm an honest trader, me. 433 00:26:12,037 --> 00:26:15,632 Do you think I'd be stupid enough to mess around with stolen goods if I knew? 434 00:26:15,674 --> 00:26:17,835 Well, what do you expect, a thief-by date? 435 00:26:17,876 --> 00:26:20,344 Look, if I'd known they were your stolen goods, 436 00:26:20,378 --> 00:26:23,108 believe me, man, I'd have been on the phone like a shot. 437 00:26:23,148 --> 00:26:25,844 Taffy, Taffy, Taffy, Taffy. When it comes to sourcing pictures, 438 00:26:25,884 --> 00:26:28,819 you know who wants 'em, who's got 'em and who'll drive the getaway car. 439 00:26:28,853 --> 00:26:32,414 Look, I swear to you, man, I'm as embarrassed as you are. 440 00:26:32,457 --> 00:26:34,516 I didn't even know they existed. 441 00:26:34,559 --> 00:26:37,460 - Taffy. - Look, I can prove it you. 442 00:26:37,495 --> 00:26:40,328 Garner, his name was, right, the man who brought the stuff in. 443 00:26:40,365 --> 00:26:44,631 I've put him onto a buyer. I know where they're going to be meeting this afternoon. 444 00:26:44,669 --> 00:26:46,000 Good. 445 00:26:47,939 --> 00:26:49,201 (Thwack, man grunts) 446 00:26:49,874 --> 00:26:51,865 Stay there till I come back. 447 00:26:55,413 --> 00:26:57,142 I never had a headmistress like that. 448 00:26:57,182 --> 00:26:59,514 No, she is rather special, isn't she? 449 00:26:59,551 --> 00:27:02,179 Mind you, I prefer Miss Hemmingway. 450 00:27:02,220 --> 00:27:06,850 She's the real thing, and she looks as if she could be really strict. 451 00:27:06,891 --> 00:27:09,155 - Yes, well. - Pure fantasy, dear chap. 452 00:27:09,194 --> 00:27:12,630 Still, it's my daughter's school, and she has asked me to become a parent governor, 453 00:27:12,664 --> 00:27:15,758 - so you never know. - Good Lord. 454 00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:18,633 Up there a couple of days ago. Breathtaking. 455 00:27:18,670 --> 00:27:20,535 - Small world. - Pardon? 456 00:27:20,572 --> 00:27:22,563 Have you, erm, made up your mind yet? 457 00:27:22,607 --> 00:27:25,269 - Not sure. A bit fussy, aren't they? - Fussy? 458 00:27:25,310 --> 00:27:27,642 Yeah, arty, can't see what's going on. 459 00:27:27,679 --> 00:27:29,510 I thought you were a collector. 460 00:27:30,148 --> 00:27:33,311 - 5,000. - They're worth six times that amount. 461 00:27:34,552 --> 00:27:36,713 Of course, I'll need proof of ownership. 462 00:27:36,755 --> 00:27:38,313 (Woman whooping) 463 00:27:39,157 --> 00:27:40,852 5,000. 464 00:27:40,892 --> 00:27:42,826 (Woman sighs contentedly) 465 00:27:44,129 --> 00:27:46,120 (Eric) Well, that's Garner's car. 466 00:27:47,198 --> 00:27:51,066 But it doesn't look like the kind of place you'd bring a load of hooky porn. 467 00:27:51,102 --> 00:27:53,696 - Looks like my mum's. - It's suburbia, Eric. 468 00:27:53,738 --> 00:27:55,729 It's the same everywhere. 469 00:27:55,774 --> 00:27:57,799 Number 15's wife-swapped with number 12, 470 00:27:57,842 --> 00:28:00,003 number 8's chopped up his dogs, got 'em in the freezer, 471 00:28:00,045 --> 00:28:03,537 and number 29 here, he's got an amphetamine laboratory in his garage. 472 00:28:03,581 --> 00:28:05,412 Oh, get off. 473 00:28:05,450 --> 00:28:09,784 I mean, look at that bloke, he's just an accountant or something going home for his tea. 474 00:28:10,555 --> 00:28:12,546 Probably doesn't even have a dog. 475 00:28:18,997 --> 00:28:20,259 (Doorbell rings) 476 00:28:35,046 --> 00:28:36,377 Look! 477 00:28:37,415 --> 00:28:38,882 Eric! 478 00:28:41,519 --> 00:28:44,682 (Engine starts, tires squeal) 479 00:28:44,723 --> 00:28:47,590 - (Lovejoy) "Pick me up a put-you-up"! - Eh? 480 00:28:47,625 --> 00:28:49,354 Pillow talk. 481 00:29:06,478 --> 00:29:09,641 (Tires squeal) 482 00:29:25,230 --> 00:29:27,221 Khadija! 483 00:29:30,735 --> 00:29:34,102 Eric, no! The girl! Get the girl! 484 00:29:38,209 --> 00:29:39,540 (Both laugh) 485 00:29:39,577 --> 00:29:42,137 - I once had a crush on Bros. - Oh, you're joking. 486 00:29:42,180 --> 00:29:44,080 I did. Must've lasted a whole month. 487 00:29:44,115 --> 00:29:47,209 - Oh, I don't believe it. How could you? - I don't know. 488 00:29:47,252 --> 00:29:50,085 - I was into The Cult myself. - They're great, aren't they? 489 00:29:50,121 --> 00:29:52,112 My mum wouldn't let me have my ears pierced, though. 490 00:29:52,157 --> 00:29:53,419 - Why not? - I don't know. 491 00:29:53,458 --> 00:29:55,653 - My mum's got her ears pierced. - Has she? 492 00:29:55,693 --> 00:29:58,890 - Is she into The Cult? - No. She's more a Motörhead freak. 493 00:29:58,930 --> 00:30:00,921 (Both laugh) 494 00:30:00,965 --> 00:30:02,956 - (Sighs) More champagne? - You sure? 495 00:30:03,001 --> 00:30:05,196 Yes. Mum won't bother us. 496 00:30:05,236 --> 00:30:07,033 She's got a Volvo full of jumble, 497 00:30:07,071 --> 00:30:10,632 and she's going round all the houses for some poor unsuspecting cause. 498 00:30:10,675 --> 00:30:13,974 And Dad takes hours and hours when he's on business. 499 00:30:14,012 --> 00:30:17,948 - Oops. (Laughs) - So... what are the sights? 500 00:30:17,982 --> 00:30:20,678 Well, this is the garden. 501 00:30:20,718 --> 00:30:22,117 Yes. 502 00:30:22,153 --> 00:30:24,144 And that's the gardener. 503 00:30:26,524 --> 00:30:30,051 - Ooh. - (Laughs) 504 00:30:30,094 --> 00:30:32,995 Who stole the books, Khadija? Was it you or Garner? 505 00:30:34,365 --> 00:30:36,356 Where did they come from? 506 00:30:37,635 --> 00:30:39,626 What do you need the money for? 507 00:30:39,671 --> 00:30:42,868 That's my business. Where are we going? 508 00:30:42,907 --> 00:30:47,003 You're gonna have to tell somebody something because you're making a pig's ear of this. 509 00:30:47,045 --> 00:30:48,478 Why don't you leave me alone? 510 00:30:48,513 --> 00:30:51,073 Because I've done two rounds with a car door and a suitcase 511 00:30:51,115 --> 00:30:54,141 and because you might look like an innocent schoolgirl but you're a liar 512 00:30:54,185 --> 00:30:57,416 - and a tout for a petty crook. - He's not a crook. 513 00:30:57,455 --> 00:30:59,320 He's a chemist. 514 00:31:01,926 --> 00:31:04,656 I see. Thank you, Matron. 515 00:31:04,696 --> 00:31:06,687 You're going to have to come back later, Charlotte. 516 00:31:06,731 --> 00:31:10,189 I'm just going to Khadija's room. If there are any calls, I'll be back in ten minutes. 517 00:31:10,235 --> 00:31:12,169 (Indistinct) 518 00:31:35,793 --> 00:31:37,351 Lovejoy? 519 00:31:47,372 --> 00:31:49,670 (♪ Saxophone music playing on stereo) 520 00:32:01,519 --> 00:32:02,952 Oh, hi, Dad. 521 00:32:02,987 --> 00:32:06,388 - You're late for the Savoy. Mum was furious. - So was mine... 522 00:32:06,424 --> 00:32:08,324 - Sorry about this, Vicky. - How embarrassing. 523 00:32:08,359 --> 00:32:12,261 - Holidays are over, you're coming home. - Mr. Lovejoy, what is the meaning of this? 524 00:32:12,297 --> 00:32:16,734 I'm taking my daughter out of this house. I only wish you could do the same thing. 525 00:32:16,768 --> 00:32:19,760 Really? Well, if I'd known you were such a thug 526 00:32:19,804 --> 00:32:23,865 I would never have let your daughter in my house in the first place. 527 00:32:25,877 --> 00:32:27,868 I can see where she gets her sense of discipline from. 528 00:32:27,912 --> 00:32:30,710 Well, you should see where your husband gets his. 529 00:32:33,418 --> 00:32:35,010 Move over. 530 00:32:36,187 --> 00:32:38,155 Get in. 531 00:32:39,624 --> 00:32:41,148 Khadija. 532 00:32:42,393 --> 00:32:44,793 - What are you up to? - I'm collecting schoolgirls. 533 00:32:44,829 --> 00:32:47,662 If I carry on like this, I'll be able to open my own college. 534 00:32:48,766 --> 00:32:50,893 Does Mum know you've still got her car? 535 00:32:54,472 --> 00:32:58,465 That was it. Could you stop? Could you just stop here? Please, please, please. 536 00:33:00,345 --> 00:33:05,180 Course, it's not the original. That's in the British Museum. 537 00:33:05,216 --> 00:33:08,014 Yes, I heard they were building an extension. 538 00:33:11,990 --> 00:33:12,979 Vicky! 539 00:33:13,024 --> 00:33:14,548 It's Miss Hemmingway! 540 00:33:18,830 --> 00:33:20,263 (Doorbell rings) 541 00:33:20,298 --> 00:33:21,959 - Mr. Lovejoy. - (Tapping) 542 00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:25,800 - Mr. Lovejoy? Mr... - (Tapping continues) 543 00:33:25,837 --> 00:33:28,499 - What have you done with Khadija? - Isn't she supposed to be in your care? 544 00:33:28,539 --> 00:33:30,439 You won't deny you've seen her? 545 00:33:30,475 --> 00:33:32,238 No. 546 00:33:33,444 --> 00:33:36,379 Victoria tells me you claim a passion for antiques. 547 00:33:36,414 --> 00:33:38,405 My passion is Badenside school. 548 00:33:38,449 --> 00:33:40,610 I would do anything to protect it. 549 00:33:41,753 --> 00:33:43,744 That girl was placed in my trust. 550 00:33:43,788 --> 00:33:46,518 She's Richie Subhani's daughter, for goodness' sake. 551 00:33:46,557 --> 00:33:48,149 The newspaper owner, I know. 552 00:33:48,192 --> 00:33:51,650 Her sister, Aisha, is about to marry Bobby Khan. 553 00:33:51,696 --> 00:33:56,030 Richie Subhani craves the Khans' acceptance. 554 00:33:56,067 --> 00:33:58,934 This is a dynastic marriage, Mr. Lovejoy. 555 00:33:58,970 --> 00:34:03,304 Why did you lie to me about the folio? It's yours, isn't it? 556 00:34:03,341 --> 00:34:07,004 Yes, you knew that Khadija had stolen it, but why didn't you do something about it then? 557 00:34:07,045 --> 00:34:09,036 Of course the Fuselis were ours. 558 00:34:09,080 --> 00:34:10,672 Ah. 559 00:34:13,851 --> 00:34:19,812 Badenside was founded by Victorian England's foremost collector of pornographic literature. 560 00:34:19,857 --> 00:34:22,451 I wasn't about to advertise the fact. 561 00:34:22,493 --> 00:34:25,519 Especially to a rag-and-bone man. 562 00:34:26,798 --> 00:34:30,063 Miss Hemmingway, those books you're so ashamed of 563 00:34:30,101 --> 00:34:32,331 represent some of the great work of their time. 564 00:34:32,370 --> 00:34:34,998 Those pictures have a power, a beauty and integrity 565 00:34:35,039 --> 00:34:37,405 that would grace a cathedral, let alone a school. 566 00:34:37,442 --> 00:34:39,410 Now, I'm not in the dirty mac brigade, 567 00:34:39,444 --> 00:34:43,642 but I'd rather have a dirty mac round my shoulders than a plastic one around my mind. 568 00:34:43,681 --> 00:34:46,741 I don't care about the books, I care about Khadija. 569 00:34:46,784 --> 00:34:49,309 - I will not have a scandal! - You'd better see her, then. 570 00:34:49,353 --> 00:34:51,184 She's here? 571 00:34:52,290 --> 00:34:54,281 Little late to read the riot act. 572 00:34:58,362 --> 00:34:59,954 Where's Khadija? 573 00:34:59,997 --> 00:35:02,056 She's gone, she's taken Susan's car. 574 00:35:03,101 --> 00:35:06,628 Mr. Lovejoy, if Khadija and the books aren't returned to school this afternoon 575 00:35:06,671 --> 00:35:08,002 I'm going to the police. 576 00:35:08,039 --> 00:35:11,736 And in any case, Victoria is expelled as of now. 577 00:35:11,776 --> 00:35:13,710 Excuse me. 578 00:35:13,744 --> 00:35:15,939 How could you let her take Susan's car? 579 00:35:15,980 --> 00:35:17,641 I found Garner. 580 00:35:17,682 --> 00:35:20,378 - Oh, Dad! You're so wonderful! - What? 581 00:35:20,418 --> 00:35:23,012 Even Celia Finnigan couldn't get herself expelled. 582 00:35:23,054 --> 00:35:24,715 Look. 583 00:35:27,725 --> 00:35:31,593 (Eric) This is great training, this is. The fine art of breaking and entering. 584 00:35:31,629 --> 00:35:33,756 We could get two years for this. 585 00:35:33,798 --> 00:35:35,789 (Lovejoy) Just shut up, Eric. 586 00:35:37,001 --> 00:35:39,060 Get off my foot and give me that torch. 587 00:35:42,673 --> 00:35:46,404 What if he's waiting for us? He might be waiting for us with a shotgun. 588 00:35:46,444 --> 00:35:50,972 Or a bucket of ammonia for our eyes. He's a chemist, he'll have ammonia, and sulphuric acid. 589 00:35:58,289 --> 00:36:00,280 Turn that light on, Eric. 590 00:36:01,759 --> 00:36:03,090 Oh. 591 00:36:04,128 --> 00:36:07,620 That mad old bag. If she'd told us the books belonged to the school, 592 00:36:07,665 --> 00:36:09,997 - we could've told her who had them days ago. - (Clang) 593 00:36:10,034 --> 00:36:11,899 (Cat yowling, dog barking) 594 00:36:13,037 --> 00:36:15,096 We don't even know the books are here. 595 00:36:15,139 --> 00:36:16,367 They could be anywhere. 596 00:36:16,407 --> 00:36:18,773 Take hours to search this place. 597 00:36:18,809 --> 00:36:23,303 And at any moment he could walk through that door with a shotgun, a bucket of ammonia, 598 00:36:23,347 --> 00:36:25,338 the police... Ohh! 599 00:36:28,753 --> 00:36:30,812 What the hell are you doing? That's radioactive. 600 00:36:30,855 --> 00:36:34,086 Eric, this is a small-town chemist, not Three Mile Island. 601 00:36:42,934 --> 00:36:45,494 - Come on. - But what about the books? 602 00:36:45,536 --> 00:36:47,868 - What books? - Lovejoy? 603 00:36:49,273 --> 00:36:50,934 (Crashing) 604 00:36:54,178 --> 00:36:55,509 - Janey. - Yeah? 605 00:36:55,546 --> 00:37:00,347 How would you like buy an enormous collection of stolen pornography? 606 00:37:00,384 --> 00:37:03,717 Why don't you ask Vicky? I'm sure she'd welcome the opportunity 607 00:37:03,754 --> 00:37:05,745 to enhance the reputation of the school. 608 00:37:05,790 --> 00:37:08,657 (Chuckles) It's her reputation I'm trying to salvage. 609 00:37:08,693 --> 00:37:12,686 If I can get the books back to Badenside, maybe I can bring Miss Hemmingway around. 610 00:37:12,730 --> 00:37:14,129 Without Khadija? 611 00:37:14,165 --> 00:37:17,623 Oh, she's next. Look, we know Garner's got the books, we know he wants to sell 'em, 612 00:37:17,668 --> 00:37:19,431 we've got to buy them, Janey. 613 00:37:19,470 --> 00:37:21,836 How do you suggest we advertise? 614 00:37:21,872 --> 00:37:26,206 In the Times? Lady Jane Felsham is at home to hot smut. 615 00:37:26,244 --> 00:37:28,712 No, no, no, no, no. You can call this fence. 616 00:37:29,814 --> 00:37:31,805 Mr. Taffy Griffiths. 617 00:37:34,652 --> 00:37:38,110 You know, Melissa's never gonna forgive me for this. 618 00:37:38,155 --> 00:37:40,555 We've been at that school for, what is it now, five years, 619 00:37:40,591 --> 00:37:42,354 and the most exciting thing that has ever happened 620 00:37:42,393 --> 00:37:44,793 was when Celia Finnigan punched the games mistress on the nose. 621 00:37:44,829 --> 00:37:46,922 Oh, and Khadija's sister's going on the pill. 622 00:37:46,964 --> 00:37:49,956 Now Khadija's running a porn racket and I've been expelled. It's terrific! 623 00:37:50,001 --> 00:37:52,595 Oh, yeah, terrific. But Lovejoy's not gonna like it, is he? 624 00:37:52,637 --> 00:37:54,867 He's a great believer in education. 625 00:37:54,905 --> 00:37:56,896 That's why I'm with him, you know. 626 00:37:58,142 --> 00:38:00,133 No, I quite like it round here. 627 00:38:00,711 --> 00:38:03,077 I suppose I could go to school in London and live with Mum, 628 00:38:03,114 --> 00:38:05,514 or I could live up here with Dad. 629 00:38:05,549 --> 00:38:07,380 Only, what school would I go to? 630 00:38:07,418 --> 00:38:09,943 Well, there's Clarke's College, that's a very good school. 631 00:38:09,987 --> 00:38:13,150 You don't go to polytechnic from there, you go to Bristol or Oxford. 632 00:38:13,190 --> 00:38:14,987 Strict discipline, you see. 633 00:38:15,026 --> 00:38:18,120 - I see. Where did you go? - Well, I went to St. John's. 634 00:38:18,529 --> 00:38:22,898 It was very rough. Teachers don't have any control, kids just mess about all the time. 635 00:38:23,367 --> 00:38:25,665 And they're frightening, some of those lads. 636 00:38:25,703 --> 00:38:27,762 Even today, I won't go near the place. 637 00:38:27,805 --> 00:38:29,602 Big, mean blokes they are. 638 00:38:29,640 --> 00:38:32,040 - It's mixed? - I should say so. 639 00:38:32,076 --> 00:38:34,203 - (Clock chiming in distance) - Suits me fine. 640 00:38:34,245 --> 00:38:37,271 Cripes, is that the time? Listen, I've got to go and get Lovejoy. 641 00:38:39,784 --> 00:38:42,309 Yes, yes, yes, of course, I understand. 642 00:38:42,353 --> 00:38:45,345 Now then, your husband's birthday, you said. 643 00:38:45,723 --> 00:38:48,453 Man of the world, is he? 644 00:38:48,492 --> 00:38:50,790 Oh, he's an aristocrat, then? 645 00:38:50,828 --> 00:38:54,423 Well, we'll be looking for something pretty saucy, then, won't we? 646 00:38:54,465 --> 00:38:58,492 A Daumier or a Fuseli or a Raimondi, perhaps. 647 00:38:58,536 --> 00:39:01,471 Oh, yes, yes, yes, top of the range of course. 648 00:39:01,505 --> 00:39:03,973 Pricey, you understand, but then... 649 00:39:04,875 --> 00:39:08,811 if he just wanted Playmate you could just pop down the local paper shop, couldn't you? 650 00:39:08,846 --> 00:39:10,814 Now, listen to me... 651 00:39:11,716 --> 00:39:14,742 This is an obscene phone call I'm paying for, Lovejoy. 652 00:39:16,020 --> 00:39:17,817 I'll kill you. 653 00:39:17,855 --> 00:39:19,846 - Oh, tell him... - No, no, I was talking to the dog. 654 00:39:19,890 --> 00:39:23,519 Tell him you want the complete works. 655 00:39:23,561 --> 00:39:25,620 Yes, I would like the complete works. 656 00:39:25,663 --> 00:39:28,097 Yes, yes, of course, I understand. 657 00:39:28,132 --> 00:39:30,123 I apologize. The complete works. 658 00:39:30,167 --> 00:39:33,864 - Er, ten o'clock tomorrow be all right? - (Jane) Yes, that's fine. 659 00:39:33,904 --> 00:39:35,269 Just one more thing... 660 00:39:35,306 --> 00:39:38,833 (Taffy talking, indistinct) 661 00:39:38,876 --> 00:39:40,867 No, I think not. 662 00:39:41,746 --> 00:39:43,646 What was that? 663 00:39:43,681 --> 00:39:45,808 He said since he was dealing with aristocracy, 664 00:39:45,850 --> 00:39:49,081 would it be appropriate to print "by appointment" on his letterheads? 665 00:39:49,120 --> 00:39:50,644 (Laughs) 666 00:40:01,599 --> 00:40:03,260 - Lovejoy. - Hello, Susan. 667 00:40:03,300 --> 00:40:05,359 - You owe me an explanation. - I know. 668 00:40:05,403 --> 00:40:08,839 - Er, what was the question? - Where's my bloody car? 669 00:40:08,873 --> 00:40:10,738 Ah, now, that I don't know. 670 00:40:10,775 --> 00:40:13,175 - Words fail me. - Do they? 671 00:40:13,210 --> 00:40:16,270 On parents' day, you tried to steal the school bookshelves, 672 00:40:16,313 --> 00:40:18,713 and then you offer the headmistress pornography. 673 00:40:18,749 --> 00:40:22,583 Next, you stand us up at the Savoy for some smutty auction. 674 00:40:22,620 --> 00:40:24,611 I thought that was as low as you could sink, 675 00:40:24,655 --> 00:40:26,748 but Mrs. Harrington-Morse phoned yesterday. 676 00:40:26,791 --> 00:40:30,090 You stormed into her house, raving like a madman, 677 00:40:30,127 --> 00:40:34,689 insulted her husband, and then tried to kidnap your own daughter in my car. 678 00:40:34,732 --> 00:40:38,327 Do you know, I've just driven 50 miles in a taxi. 679 00:40:38,369 --> 00:40:41,827 Apart from ruining Vicky's holiday, how do you suppose she's going to live this down at school? 680 00:40:41,872 --> 00:40:43,635 Oh, she won't have to, she's been... 681 00:40:43,674 --> 00:40:45,005 What? 682 00:40:45,042 --> 00:40:47,033 She's been expelled. 683 00:40:47,077 --> 00:40:49,045 Well, I want a divorce! 684 00:40:49,079 --> 00:40:51,172 - You got one. - Again! 685 00:40:51,215 --> 00:40:53,115 Vicky? 686 00:40:53,150 --> 00:40:54,481 Oh... 687 00:40:55,553 --> 00:40:58,989 Right, that's it, I've had enough. 688 00:41:00,391 --> 00:41:03,224 - Right, come on. - We've decided Dad's gonna bring me up. 689 00:41:04,662 --> 00:41:07,529 I wouldn't trust your father to bring up his lunch. 690 00:41:09,133 --> 00:41:12,125 Oh, God. Everyone back on the coach. 691 00:41:14,038 --> 00:41:17,303 There you go, then, man, you won't see better than that. 692 00:41:17,341 --> 00:41:19,309 Not in a month in Bangkok. 693 00:41:19,343 --> 00:41:22,335 Gift of a lifetime, that is. Take your pick. 694 00:41:22,379 --> 00:41:25,712 Quite. But I am only interested in complete collections. 695 00:41:25,749 --> 00:41:28,081 Oh, do, do. 696 00:41:28,118 --> 00:41:31,815 All I ever get for my birthday is socks and underpants. 697 00:41:31,856 --> 00:41:34,825 I wish my wife was as broad-minded as you are. 698 00:41:34,859 --> 00:41:35,848 (Clears throat) 699 00:41:38,362 --> 00:41:40,353 - Well, I think your wife... - Eric. 700 00:41:40,965 --> 00:41:42,956 A teenage girl should be with her mother. 701 00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:45,025 Shut up, Eric. 702 00:41:48,005 --> 00:41:52,305 Lady Jane, I have received a number of offers for single pieces. 703 00:41:52,343 --> 00:41:54,937 You understand that were I to dispose of the whole collection, 704 00:41:54,979 --> 00:41:57,345 I would of course have to take this into account. 705 00:41:57,381 --> 00:42:00,544 Of course. You have brought the entire collection? 706 00:42:00,584 --> 00:42:03,178 Lock, stock and barrel. 707 00:42:03,220 --> 00:42:05,347 Twenty grand. Cash. 708 00:42:05,389 --> 00:42:08,517 That's a lot to pay for stolen goods, isn't it, Mr. Griffiths? 709 00:42:08,559 --> 00:42:11,027 Especially someone else's stolen goods, Taffy. 710 00:42:11,061 --> 00:42:12,551 Lovejoy! 711 00:42:15,466 --> 00:42:17,934 Eric! Eric, not after them! No, no, come on. 712 00:42:17,968 --> 00:42:20,163 Take all this stuff back to Badenside. 713 00:42:20,204 --> 00:42:21,933 - Car keys! - They're in the car. 714 00:42:57,575 --> 00:43:00,100 (Jane) I think it's safe to say we've lost him. 715 00:43:00,144 --> 00:43:02,339 I don't him, we're going after the girl. 716 00:43:02,379 --> 00:43:04,210 Do you know where she is? 717 00:43:04,248 --> 00:43:07,911 First time I saw Garner, he was talking about someone called Bobby. 718 00:43:07,952 --> 00:43:11,183 I've just found out who Bobby is - he's only interested in Khadija 719 00:43:11,221 --> 00:43:13,246 because of her big sister. 720 00:43:29,473 --> 00:43:31,464 - (Girl) Hello. - Hello. 721 00:43:31,508 --> 00:43:33,305 Oh, my God. 722 00:43:45,255 --> 00:43:46,279 (Screams) 723 00:43:46,323 --> 00:43:49,884 Oh, my goodness, you gave me a fright. What are you doing here? 724 00:43:49,927 --> 00:43:51,918 I'm here to see the headmistress. 725 00:43:51,962 --> 00:43:54,396 - Name? - Er, Miss Hemmingway. 726 00:43:54,431 --> 00:43:57,889 No, no, no, no. Your name. 727 00:43:57,935 --> 00:43:59,766 Oh. Ha. Eric. 728 00:43:59,803 --> 00:44:01,737 Eric Catchpole. 729 00:44:03,974 --> 00:44:06,534 You're not on my list. What's it in connection with? 730 00:44:06,577 --> 00:44:08,101 Well, I'm delivering some books. 731 00:44:08,145 --> 00:44:10,477 Ah, Civis Romanus. 732 00:44:10,514 --> 00:44:12,505 I shall have to count them. 733 00:44:19,523 --> 00:44:21,491 (Shrieks) 734 00:44:21,525 --> 00:44:22,924 Filth! 735 00:44:23,560 --> 00:44:25,494 (Alarm blaring) 736 00:44:26,664 --> 00:44:28,291 What on earth is going on? 737 00:44:28,332 --> 00:44:30,732 Well, don't ask me, I'm just delivering the books. 738 00:44:33,070 --> 00:44:34,867 (Alarm stops) 739 00:44:40,511 --> 00:44:43,503 There's one missing. Where's Lovejoy? 740 00:44:43,547 --> 00:44:45,538 Well, I don't know. 741 00:44:45,582 --> 00:44:47,140 (Girls cheering outside) 742 00:44:48,919 --> 00:44:51,046 (Hooter, bicycle bill) 743 00:44:51,088 --> 00:44:52,749 (Car horn) 744 00:44:55,359 --> 00:44:57,919 (Lovejoy humming melody) 745 00:44:59,296 --> 00:45:01,025 Susan's car. 746 00:45:01,965 --> 00:45:03,557 (Humming) 747 00:45:05,502 --> 00:45:08,130 (Clock chiming) 748 00:45:12,242 --> 00:45:15,837 - Going to the library? - Oh, please, leave me alone. 749 00:45:15,879 --> 00:45:19,246 That man's a crook, Khadija, even if he got the money. 750 00:45:19,283 --> 00:45:21,183 What? Didn't he get his money? 751 00:45:21,218 --> 00:45:23,550 - No, he didn't. It won't work, Khadija. - (Boy) Geronimo! 752 00:45:23,587 --> 00:45:26,351 Even if you paid Garner off, he'd be back once the money ran out. 753 00:45:26,390 --> 00:45:28,381 It's not pretty, blackmail, is it, Aisha? 754 00:45:28,425 --> 00:45:30,325 How do you know Charles Garner? 755 00:45:30,360 --> 00:45:33,158 Garner did a pregnancy test for you two years ago. 756 00:45:34,298 --> 00:45:36,289 Positive, wasn't it? 757 00:45:41,371 --> 00:45:44,704 Oh, you got them. You got them! 758 00:45:58,922 --> 00:46:00,913 Oh, really! 759 00:46:46,136 --> 00:46:47,603 - Khadija, Aisha. - I'm sorry. 760 00:46:47,638 --> 00:46:50,402 Khadija was only trying to help. I'm in desperate trouble. 761 00:46:50,440 --> 00:46:52,431 - What sort of trouble? - When I was at Badenside 762 00:46:52,476 --> 00:46:55,411 I thought I was pregnant. I couldn't go to the school doctor, 763 00:46:55,445 --> 00:46:57,436 so I went to a local chemist for a test. 764 00:46:57,481 --> 00:47:00,541 - A chemist! - I didn't have anywhere else to go, did I? 765 00:47:00,584 --> 00:47:03,917 The test was positive, so I had an abortion. 766 00:47:03,954 --> 00:47:06,445 - It was horrible. - But then she met Bobby Khan. 767 00:47:06,490 --> 00:47:07,980 And I fell in love with him. 768 00:47:08,025 --> 00:47:10,323 But the chemist read about us in the papers. 769 00:47:10,360 --> 00:47:12,851 He said he knew the Khans wouldn't let me marry Bobby 770 00:47:12,896 --> 00:47:15,296 if they were shown proof that I wasn't a virgin. 771 00:47:15,332 --> 00:47:18,392 Garner tried to sell me the pregnancy test results, 772 00:47:18,435 --> 00:47:20,335 but he said they'd be very expensive. 773 00:47:20,370 --> 00:47:24,864 And then when Garner found out that Khadija was stealing expensive prints to pay him off, 774 00:47:24,908 --> 00:47:26,500 he tried to cut out the middle man. 775 00:47:26,543 --> 00:47:29,239 My poor child. Why on earth didn't you come to me? 776 00:47:29,279 --> 00:47:32,407 Why? You wouldn't let Aisha take the pill in the first place. 777 00:47:32,449 --> 00:47:34,713 It's your fault she got pregnant. 778 00:47:34,751 --> 00:47:38,209 As a chemist, I would suggest that was a biological impossibility. 779 00:47:38,255 --> 00:47:41,952 Please, no more violence. He's already fractured my skull. 780 00:47:43,160 --> 00:47:47,961 Madam, it appears your pupils have little understanding of the rudiments of blackmail. 781 00:47:47,998 --> 00:47:50,899 Allow me to enlighten you all. 782 00:47:50,934 --> 00:47:53,459 Unless somebody gives me my money immediately, 783 00:47:53,503 --> 00:47:56,336 I'm going to take Aisha's medical records to her prospective hus... 784 00:47:56,373 --> 00:47:59,706 Oh, you mean these medical records. 785 00:48:08,118 --> 00:48:10,848 Yeah, well, there's nothing to stop me going to Robert Khan anyway. 786 00:48:10,888 --> 00:48:13,948 Nothing at all, but it'd be your word against Miss Hemmingway's. 787 00:48:13,991 --> 00:48:18,690 Aisha spent that entire week helping Miss Hemmingway catalog the school library, 788 00:48:18,729 --> 00:48:20,856 - didn't she, Miss Hemmingway? - What week? 789 00:48:20,898 --> 00:48:23,025 - Any week you care to claim otherwise. - So she did. 790 00:48:26,336 --> 00:48:28,600 So, it's back to the cough drops, Garner. 791 00:48:28,639 --> 00:48:30,630 You've got nothing to tell. 792 00:48:31,975 --> 00:48:33,966 (Girls cheering) 793 00:48:36,880 --> 00:48:41,010 Oh, thank you, Lovejoy. Thank you for everything. 794 00:48:41,485 --> 00:48:46,218 You have my thanks too. And I shall look forward to seeing Vicky next term. 795 00:48:46,256 --> 00:48:49,521 There's, er, just the question of the fees. 796 00:48:49,559 --> 00:48:51,527 - Ah. - But we can settle those 797 00:48:51,561 --> 00:48:53,552 when we get your bill. 798 00:48:53,597 --> 00:48:55,827 Your bill for valuing and cataloging the books. 799 00:48:55,866 --> 00:48:59,029 It'll have to be done before they're put on public display. 800 00:48:59,069 --> 00:49:01,401 Not a cathedral, I think, nor a school, 801 00:49:01,438 --> 00:49:03,599 but perhaps you can suggest a gallery. 802 00:49:16,320 --> 00:49:19,312 - (Cameras clicking) - Now, if you use this, it's gotta be cash, right? 803 00:49:23,694 --> 00:49:27,221 When I think of Vicky spending the night in that man's house. 804 00:49:27,264 --> 00:49:30,927 Still, Peter King phoned this morning, full of effusive apologies. 805 00:49:30,968 --> 00:49:34,597 Wanted to thank me for dissociating the agency from Homestead before the whistle blew, 806 00:49:34,638 --> 00:49:36,401 so I must be forgiven. 807 00:49:36,440 --> 00:49:38,840 - He asked after you. - He always was two-faced. 808 00:49:38,875 --> 00:49:40,467 Still, he's in advertising. 809 00:49:40,510 --> 00:49:42,808 Oh, Lovejoy, let me help you with the school fees. 810 00:49:42,846 --> 00:49:46,976 Oh, there's no need to. Miss Hemmingway, apart from taking young Victoria back, 811 00:49:47,017 --> 00:49:50,509 - is also going to hire me. - What? 812 00:49:50,554 --> 00:49:53,887 Yeah, you're going back. Lovejoy's fixed it with your headmistress. 813 00:49:53,924 --> 00:49:55,585 Well, say goodbye, Vicky. 814 00:49:56,593 --> 00:49:59,187 Goodbye, Eric. You tell that double-crossing pig, 815 00:49:59,229 --> 00:50:01,060 I'll never speak to him again. 816 00:50:01,098 --> 00:50:03,498 Well, I'll just have to say goodbye for you. 817 00:50:09,740 --> 00:50:12,265 And we will have that lunch sometime. 818 00:50:12,309 --> 00:50:14,174 Bought you a present. 819 00:50:14,211 --> 00:50:15,803 Oh, Lovejoy. 820 00:50:15,846 --> 00:50:17,507 In the boot! 821 00:50:24,921 --> 00:50:27,116 (Shrieks) Lovejoy!